This Is A Custom Widget

This Sliding Bar can be switched on or off in theme options, and can take any widget you throw at it or even fill it with your custom HTML Code. Its perfect for grabbing the attention of your viewers. Choose between 1, 2, 3 or 4 columns, set the background color, widget divider color, activate transparency, a top border or fully disable it on desktop and mobile.

This Is A Custom Widget

This Sliding Bar can be switched on or off in theme options, and can take any widget you throw at it or even fill it with your custom HTML Code. Its perfect for grabbing the attention of your viewers. Choose between 1, 2, 3 or 4 columns, set the background color, widget divider color, activate transparency, a top border or fully disable it on desktop and mobile.

Hard On Kids

May 30th, 2015|

 

Shut The Bleep Up

May 29th, 2015|

People say dumb shit. People love peppering you with questions about how you raise your kids. Here’s a list of dumb questions, and here’s the responses that you should give:

Them: Oohhh, you didn’t get the flu shot???

You: No. (then proceed to cough in their face).

 

Them: Do you buy organic?

You: Nope. I like to poison my […]

Two of our faves, Zach and Will

May 28th, 2015|

Top 5 – Disney Princess Edition

May 27th, 2015|

Top 5 deleted scenes from your favorite Disney Princess movies:

5: Right after Jasmine decides she wants to marry Aladdin, she tries on over a dozen push up bras, but can’t seem to find the right fit.

4: Once Aurora is pricked with the spinning wheel, she rebels and starts having sex with animals.

3: Flynn convinces Rapunzel […]

Don’t Fuck With Me While Shopping

May 25th, 2015|

When I’m in the grocery store with the kids, other shoppers sometimes make small talk with us. All over the store, I’m chatting and smiling while people wave and make mindless chit chat with me, on account of my adorable fucking children. If I’m in the store by myself might I add, people don’t give […]

Pain levels

May 23rd, 2015|

This singer needs coffee…..or wine

May 21st, 2015|

Top 5 Kids Stores That Can F* Off

May 20th, 2015|

5: Babies R Us

As a new mom, Babies R Us was my go to, and I’d buy my diapers there, and run there when I needed baby supplies because they gave you those stupid fricken coupons…you know the ones that are totally useless for diapers and not valid until March 14,  2045? Yeah, I don’t […]

It’s All A Bleeping Conspiracy

May 18th, 2015|

Children know exactly how to press our buttons. I believe that after my children go to sleep, they conspire with other toddlers via an ultra secret, ultra exclusive underground tunnel and discuss how to fuck with their parents. Because the next morning, there always seems to be an extensive, well thought out tantrum presentation. Every […]

Diagnosis: Children

May 16th, 2015|