Adulting is rough. Little kids get away with doing all kinds of ridiculous stuff that us adults simply can’t do. Fun stuff. Gross stuff. Weird stuff. I kinda wanna go into the world and explore some of these things, so here’s:

Bleeping Motherhood’s Top 5 Things I Wish I Could Do, But Can’t Because I’m (Posing As) An Adult:

5: Fart in someone’s face and think it’s hilarious. This has happened to me on several occasions, and I really wish I could try this out with the general public. BUT! I’m an adult, so I won’t do that. Wanna do some farting pranks with your kids instead? Grab your stash of whoopie cushions here and tell us how it goes!

4: Run around with a diaper on my head. I’ve lived through a lot of fashion statements across my nearing 40 years on this lovely Earth. One thing I have not tried, is the Diaper Head. I feel like Diaper Head might be my new thing. If I wasn’t trying to be such an adult, I would totally do this. The only downside to this fashion option is waking up with dreaded diaper head. You can also check out Top 10 reasons why wearing a diaper on your head is good for you from our friends at Just is a Four Letter Word.

Are you almost out of diapers? Order some up right here, right now before it’s too late!

3: Spit food in my mom’s hair. I’ve always wanted to be in a hard core food fight. What’s better than an all out, crazy ass food fight? Spitting food. That’s right. That’s pretty gross and disgusting. And spitting it in your mom’s hair? That’s just badass. Do it as an adult, and your mom might bring out a can of whoop ass on you. Need to wash some food out of your hair? Try out this organic, strengthening shampoo and conditioner that helps revitalize and fortify thinning hair!

2: Lay on the floor and scream and wildly kick my legs. My kids do this several times a week. It looks kinda cool. It actually looks like great exercise. I’m not sure how they can do this so much and not have a backache or headache. I feel like this floor tantrum maneuver could literally cripple me. But I’m still intrigued. Have some serious aches and pain? We got you, ma! Grab your pain reliever.

1: Play under the kitchen table. My kids like to grab a bunch of blankets, and cover the kitchen table to make a fort. Then, they grab random items and play under the kitchen table for a couple hours. Can you imagine what my husband would think if he found me playing by myself under the kitchen table surrounded in a custom blanket house? Actually, by now in my house, I don’t think this would particularly strike my husband as “odd”.
Need to upgrade your fort, I mean dining room table? I’m not sure this is the exact model, but it’s pretty close to the one we have. In case you’re wondering, it fits 4 small children, or 2 adults under the table.

 

Who says we can’t do what we want! Have some fun today moms! Tell us what you’re doing today on the Bleeping Motherhood Facebook page.

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