Top 5 Headline Worthy “You’ve Been Toddlered” Moments”:

5: Toddler tossed Million Dollar lottery ticket in the fireplace.

Emma, 2.5 years old, Nebraska, U.S.A

All the parents could say is, “Fuck me. Fuck me.”

4: Toddler put poopy in mommy’s coffee. Mommy drank it.

Drake, 4, London, England

Mommy said, “Yuck, this tastes like bloody shit.”

3: Toddler hit delete button on her daddy’s entire cell phone image library/important files.

Ava, New Hampshire, U.S.A

After a failed attempt at retrieving the files, Ava’s father mumbled something about Steve Jobs being the devil.

2: Toddler flushed his parents’ wedding bands down the toilet

Jonah, Boston, U.S.A.

Mommy pretended to be devastated, then got her husband to spring for a brand new Tiffany’s band!

1: Toddler locked her mommy out of the house when she ran to grab the mail.

My Kid, New York, U.S.A

Yup! I was Toddlered, and I won’t go into details. We’ll just say, I survived.

Share your Toddlered moments with us NOW in the comments below, or email us at sothishappened@bleepingmotherhood.com