Wanna know how you can act like a small child and get away with it, (kind’a) In 21 Easy Steps?
1: Grab a bunch of mama friends/drinking buddies/crazy-ass peeps
2: Grab 1 bottle of wine per crazy-ass peep (not to exceed 47).
3: Drink all the wine.
4: Go to a bar.
5: Dance like everyone is watching.
6: Don’t care about anything.
7: Don’t think about anything.
8: Just dance.
9. And laugh.
10: And drink.
11: Dance on that pole if you want.
12: Dance on that table if you want.
13: Dance on that coat rack that you mistook for your husband.
14: Just Shake It Off.
15: Shake It Off.
16: Tell the bartender, Earl, that he reminds you of Caillou.
17: Furiously wax the top of Earl’s bald head until he starts bleeding.
18: Laugh with (at) Earl.
19: Get kicked out.
20: Uber it home.
21: Pass out in a pile of mush in the backseat while your girlfriends scream “Living On A Prayer” at the top of their lungs.
I don’t want to be responsible for what comes next, or for how your morning goes…so I’m just gonna leave this here.
P.S. Make your life a little easier and pre-buy your morning hangover aspirin right now!
P.S.S. Sometimes it’s good and healthy to get out and misbehave a little like a small child with your besties.
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