If you want to get out of hosting the holidays at your house this year, here’s what
you do in 4.5 Easy Steps:
1: Tell everyone that you may, or may not poison the food.
2: Do a half-smile and wink 3 times.
3: Say, “I’m serious, though.” and wink once.
4: Fake cough.
4.5: Pivot turn, and run away in slow motion.
Works every time.
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