People say dumb shit. People love peppering you with questions about how you raise your kids. Here’s a list of dumb questions, and here’s the responses that you should give:

Them: Oohhh, you didn’t get the flu shot???

You: No. (then proceed to cough in their face).

Them: Do you buy organic?

You: Nope. I like to poison my kids.

Them: Are you breastfeeding?

You: Sure I breastfeed, my husband.

Them: What programs are your children in?

You: AA

Them: What is your kid’s bedtime routine?

You: I have no clue. I’m sound asleep by 8:30.

Them: What diaper brand do you use?

You: The kind that holds piss and shit inside the diaper.

Keep these responses handy, and use them often.

What is the dumbest shit you have been asked?