My husband recently planned a playdate with friends. Except, I wasn’t invited. It was a guy thing with just the kiddos. Was I hurt or left out? Hell to the freaking no.

In fact, this would be the first time EVER that I’d be left alone in my home, by myself. With no kids. Ever. That sounds truly astounding, doesn’t it? I tried to recall a time that I have been by myself in my house since before my daughter was born, FOUR YEARS AGO.

I couldn’t.

Even if I had, I couldn’t recall it, in any capacity. So it started me thinking. What will I do with this time all alone?

The playdate was scheduled for 1 p.m. that day. I found out about said playdate around 8 a.m. So I naturally started day dreaming about the things I would do in their absence.

In My Own House For The First Time In Four Years Day Dream List:

1: Do Nothing
2: Take A Nap
3: Take A Bubble Bath
4: Do 10 Minute Ab Workout
5: Do Nothing Some More
6: Binge Watch Fuller House On Netflix
7: Clean the House
8: Write A Novel
9: Cook Ahead Meals For Next Week
10: Clean Out My Office
11: Clean Out My Closet
12: Launder Every Item Of Clothing In The Hamper
13: Lay Out In The Sun (crap there’s no sun today)
14: Enjoy A Cup Of Hot Tea
15: Organize Something That’s Been Bothering Me
16: Pluck My Eyebrows
17: Give Myself A Manicure/Pedicure
18: Give Myself A Facial

Yes, this list is a bit extreme, but my mind couldn’t help but indulge in all the things I might get to do. So I immediately decided to start tackling some of these items now, so that when I actually had the house to myself, I could bask in these things in a more pleasurable, accomplished way.

Pre-alone time planning

So what did I decide to do? I started spring cleaning the shit out of the second floor of our house. Why? Well, it needed it badly, and that was what I felt like doing, so I did it. Plainly, cleaning is my go to procrastination activity.

I kept watching the clock, knowing that as 1:00 approached, so was my anxiety about being all by myself. And what I would do with that time seemed to be egging me on. I had been longing for some “me” time, and here it is, handed to me on a silver platter and I couldn’t wrangle all of my feelings about it.

It felt good to have the windows open, with fresh air whipping through our bedrooms with the clean smell of lemon Pine Sol filling the halls. Laundry was all but done, and I was on a roll.

Except it’s nearing 1:00 and I started day dreaming about the playdate somehow not working out, I wouldn’t have my alone time after all. There was a tad bit of relief in that thought. The pressure of filling my alone time was lifted, and I honestly didn’t care that much.

My husband alerts me that their playdate is moved to 2:00. Okay, great! That leaves me more time to knock some things off my list of crap that I hoped to get done before I am actually by myself.

Does this sound as ridiculous to you as it does to me as I write it? Kinda, right?

So anyway, it’s time.

The kids and my husband are in the car. They leave the driveway. My husband asks what I’m going to do with my time? I answer, “I don’t know”.

So what did I do? Here’s how I recall it in no particular order:

I made myself a hot cup of tea, sliced a fairly large piece of funfetti cake made by my daughter, sat on the couch and watched 2 episodes of Fuller House. BTW, it’s not groundbreaking material, but if you grew up a Full House fan and are not engaging in the Netflix spinoff, you’re definitely missing out.

Did 10 minute ab workout

Took a shower, mani/pedi and facial

Folded some laundry

Noticed the silence

Did some banking

Did some writing/work

Noticed the silence

Started wondering when they would be back

Watched some TV

It’s getting kind of late, I wonder if they will be getting dinner for the kids

Noticed the silence

And then, I heard a knock at the door. It’s them. They’re back.

Even though it was just a few short hours by myself, it gave me a chance to hear silence in my waking hours. Something I do not get to achieve much. An opportunity to clear my mind and rest my thoughts. It gave me a chance to miss my children’s laughter (and cries) and thank my husband for treating me to a new experience.

It was interesting.