I recently weened my 18 month son from breastfeeding, cold turkey.

He took it better than I expected. Especially since he was attached to the nip.

I, on the other hand was severely engorged and in a lot of pain. I don’t want to hear about all the things I could have, or should have done to prevent this. It’s done with. So just listen.

I happened to be traveling to upstate NY with the kids in tow to visit my family during the week of the weening. So to help with the engorgement and pain, I was doing some compresses, massaging, and I threw in cold cabbage leaves for good measure.

We were on the road, and caught some heavy traffic on the Cross Bronx Expressway. I figured this was a good time to swap out the cabbage leaves and do a little massaging.

My engorged ta-tas were sore, but the massage was helping release some of the pressure.  This was great, and really doing the trick. Except. We were in bumper to bumper traffic, and I realize that I was giving a line of cars a show.

I couldn’t even hide. I was stuck there. They were stuck there. Thankfully I was wearing sunglasses and didn’t have to look anyone in the eye. I just pretended I had an itch.

Maybe I just came from a forest and had poison ivy.

Maybe I need to switch laundry detergents to non fragrance.

Maybe I’m a highway prostitute.

What’s it to you?

Whatever the reason I was itching my chest, or fondling my breast or slipping a smelly vegetable into my bra…maybe I’m just a mom, who weened her baby from breastfeeding. So all you people on the Cross Bronx Expressway can SUCK IT!