Today’s post is huge – HUGE! First, a hilarious Top 5 list written by author Scott Cohn, who has been featured on Men’s Health and Huffington Post. He’s also the author of the book, Daddy Said A Word I Never Heard, which we’ll tell you how to enter to get a FREE copy of below. But first, we challenged Scott to give us a Top 5 List, and here it is:
Top 5 times I should have kept my mouth shut around my daughter.
5. You’re the one who wanted to have kids in the first place!
4. Tell that cock-sucking landscaper I’ll pay him when he picks up all those fucking leaves!
3. (When asked where anyone went who died) Oh them? They’re in Hawaii.
2. If a boy makes fun of you, and you’ll want to pay attention now, this right here is an area called “the nuts”
1. Next time Daphne says you can’t play with her tell her you don’t want to anyway because she’s probably got herpes from her swinger parents. Can you remember that?
Didn’t I say he is hilarious? Definitely using that Hawaii line.
And now…..how do you get a FREE copy of Daddy Said A Word I Never Heard – the new book by Scott Cohn? Easy – just comment on this post with something you wish you didn’t say in front of your kids. Or just a comment on how funny we are. Or Scott Cohn. Gratuitous admiration is never shunned here. One entry per person will be accepted.
We’ll pick a winner on Friday, December 4th.
I wish I never said the word poop because now it’s in our every conversations. ?
I have a small problem with road rage so my 5 yrs old has picked up some on my wonderful phrases. The best one is when he yelled, “Move your friggin ass Jersey!” while we were stopped at a light.
My 3-year old son actually said the F word, something my husband has a hard time letting go off apparently, a few weeks ago. My husband and I agreed on him putting a dollar in our son’s piggy bank whenever he says the F word anywhere remotely near our son. The way things are going he will be able to buy his first car on his 5th birthday. Looks like I need to come up with a new idea on how to curb my husband’s language 🙂
Oh Fuuuudge. Only I didn’t say fudge. 🙂
Letting the 6 year old be in the room when I was watching an episode of Bones where the two parents were talking about the tooth fairy being a “stupid social construct “. The big kid stopped believing on his own but there’s still hope for the little guy.
You guys are bleeping hilarious
I am sure there are many things I wish I did not say, thankfully I can’t remeber them! Bleeping motherhood rocks, they make me laugh when I want to cry! Everyone needs a dose of funny in the too real world.
I wish I never taught her PU and That’s stinky! Instead of the cute game when I would take off her socks; everything is stinky! Dinner. Her brother. People at the grocery store. No filter.
I like to say the really with an attitude when my kids do something there not suppose to do. So now they do it to me and each other with my same attitude. But I love them attitude and all.