Weekly Tip – Bite Sized Food
Want to make life easier?
To get perfect little bite size pieces of food for your toddler, ditch the knife and use scissors. I do this with my kid’s chicken nuggets and it works great! If you don’t have any scissors available, try an ax. If no ax available, a chainsaw can be used in a […]
Mother’s Day Gift Idea
Mom Jeans!
https://screen.yahoo.com/mom-jeans-support-000000467.html
Top 5 – Common Core Edition
Top 5 Things I’d prefer to do in lieu of dealing with Common Core
5: Make out with a dog
Dog saliva has healing properties so heck, why not?
4: Go to second base with a dog for 5 seconds
I might do this anyway.
3: Get a transvaginal mesh implant
I don’t even know what the fuck a transvaginal mesh […]
Would You Rather
Go to face-to-face confession with a Catholic priest (you haven’t been to confession in over 10 years AND you just robbed a bank)
or
Get really, really drunk and make another baby
To The Guy Trying to Eat His Pizza
As I eat pizza at the pizza parlor with my 2 children, I can sense that my lil guy is getting restless. He’s at level 7, and I need to get the fuck out of there before he becomes level 10. Which in mommy terms; he transforms into Godzilla, stepping on humans, eventually eating them.
Two […]
About Bleeping Kerri
Kerri is a machine, made of aluminum foil, disguised as a person. Do not place her in the microwave.
She lives with her husband and 2 children.
She is the Chief Officer for the Department Of Water & Coffee for a small ant hill community in her backyard.
She believes that every toaster should be required to complete […]
About Bleeping Audrey
Bleeping Audrey
Audrey is originally from Mars, and moved to the States approximately 13 minutes ago.
She lives with her husband and 2 children.
She believes that the rhythm is gonna get her, tonight.
She volunteers at a retirement home that focuses on helping reconcile domestic disputes between aging fruits and vegetables.
She has fought tirelessly to gain cotton balls […]
Who Would You Do?
May Cause Bleeding
In 1845, a group of women stood in a field and watched the sun set as their kids frolic in the high grass. Then, in the near distance, a coyote appeared. The women scooped up their children screaming profanities and ran to safety. One woman pulled out a shotgun and aimed it at the coyote, […]